2nd Baby

So me and my husband are newly parents.  We both are getting older (hes 32 and Im 28). We want our children to be rather close in age. (not exactly irish twins but 18 months apart or so.) We just had a beautiful little girl in July of this year, shes 16 weeks old now, and I am ALREADY ready to start trying again.  I know that it takes a bit and its a lot of heartache sometimes trying, but we want to start really focusing on "trying" in March when Claudia is 9 months old, so that best case senerio our children will be 18 months apart in age.  yes I know this means i will have two in diapers, two in tantrums, and some people believe its not fair to the children to have them so close, I have thought about all this.

However, I was an only child, and would have loved to have a sibling close to my age.  My dad remarried when i was about 7 and I got a stepsister in the marriage who was 8 months younger than me.  We shared everything and were/are the best of friends.

I have been at home with Claudia since she was born and am about to go back to work probably in the next month or so, january at the latest. We have been looking for schools (daycares) so that she will be used to being around other children. 

Those of you with children close together....
1.) Is it really a disaster to have children so close together?
2.) Did your children or you feel as though you "cheated" them out of alone time?
3.) Do you regret (not the children) having your kids so close together, I mean if you could go back and change it would you space them further out, if so why?

Thanks Y'all and to all those out there trying, HOPE YOU GET LOTS OF BABY DUST and to those baking, CONGRATS and to those who are already mommies....its a true blessing eh?

God Bless you all!

I have girls who are 16 months apart.  It has it's really hard times- but the joy of them both far out weigh the issues. For example- one will be crying and having a fit, and now the other one cries because she thinks she should too.  I cant speak to how they feel because they are both still little.  But they don't act like they are extremely jealous.  Really my older one only remembers since her sister has been around.  I am active with them both, and give them both time and attention. 
I will always treasure some of their sibling moments- like my youngest is starting to walk and my 2 yr old helps her walk (tries to pull her up or along). 
Then I asked one day to my 2 yr old "who is mama's baby?" She says Stella Beanie (her sisters nick name) and I said your mama's baby too-- "no, I'm a big your big girl!". 
They are fun- and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them.  My heart aches for woman who cant have children- I remember those days and I am thankful everyday I have my girls.  I would love to have another one soon- but I am not sure if that is going to happen.  I think there are advantages to them being further apart, and to them being close together.  Good luck! 

I totally understand. My hubby and I want the same thing as you. My sisters and I were all about 2 years apart and that was nice growing up. On the other hand my hubby and his brother are about 4 years apart and that was difficult for both of them. So we'd like our children to be close in age as well. It's weird to think about trying in a couple months, but I think it will be worth it.

Good Luck!

Tina

This is just my own opinion and experience. I have two girls who are 16 months apart.

1. I dont think it is a disaster at all, but I remember questioning the same thing. I absolutely LOVE them so close together and wouldn't change a thing. I didnt have two in diapers for very long because my oldest was potty trained right around her 2 year birthday - she is very advanced. She rarely whines and can voice what she wants, she also helps with my 14 month old and gets her snacks and juice cup when she gets her own. For me after the 9-12 month mark everything got easier, such as Van started walking my oldest was potty trained, no more formula or bottles for either one and they both come to me when called. My 14 month old even goes up and down our stairs herself (of course while I watch her) :) It's fun - - go for it!

2. I dont feel I cheated them, I gave them each other for playmates and they love it as well, my 2 1/2 year old dosent know any different now. She wants "baby sister" to go everywere. There are times when I just take her alone and she wants to know why baby sister isnt coming.

 3. I wouldnt go back and do the spacing any different. I been trying to convince DH to have another but he is 100% against it right now as we are financially in a great place and he doesnt want to put any strain on our family. I try to convince him it wouldnt be that bad but he dont wanna listen. Ha

Good Luck when you do start you TTC journey!

My first two were 27 months apart. In the earlier days it seemed like I had four babies instead of just two. One wasn't a big deal- but when two came along I was BUSY! My son was a very needy toddler and when his sister got here I was tending to two very needy kiddos. With that being said- I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, it was hard at the time, but the gains from it far out measure the bad. They are very close now. I felt bad initially when I'd have to tell my son it was his sister's turn to sit on my lap, etc. So in some ways he did get a little cheated. It was probably time to have him mature a bit (I was still rocking him to sleep, etc). They were both doted on, I just had to divide my time better. Growing up they have always had each other to rely on. I know they talk to each other about friends and school and things that they are going through. To me, that's priceless.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

I had my daughter in Nov 09 and my twins will be born in April 11. So pretty close! My oldest 2 were 5 years apart and I loved that. Yet right now I am happy these 3 will all be so close!

long time no see..

1. no-best thing ive ever done... scary part is we are talking about adding a 3rd into the mix... when baby lady is 9 months...

2. no... each child gets alone time... jayson and i go on "field trips" and the same with jaylyn... when one child is napping my attention is fully on the other...

3. no.. its prefect... jayson just turned 2.. he was 17 months when she was born... still needed mommy but loved to be independant at the same time.. he loves his sister like no other... they are the perfect age.. jaylyn is 7 months old now.. never had any regret..

however i do pee longer... i do take longer showers.. and i treasure my 10 mins of quiet time before i go to bed.. the trick to having kids so close together is making sure you have time for you to gather your sanity... an unsane mommy = chaos

Thanks ladies for all your replies! I have a gut feeling Im doing the right thing, I feel ready for another, and would love to give my daughter a little brother or sister to play with.

Children are a true blessing and I hope everyone who wants to can experience the love of a child.

God Bless you all and again thanks for your response!

Great post!  I am in a similar situation as you.  My husband and I are 33 and 35.  We have 2 now an 8 year old boy and our daughter was born in June.  I feel so strongly that our family is not done at 2 kids and we plan on starting to try in february and if successful our second two kids will be less than 2 years apart.  I do think I am crazy a bit for even thinking about it but I really think it is what is right for us.  We have a lot of family that will not support us which is why we keep it to ourselves.  I had bad PPD/A after amber was born and I think my mom is ready for me to be done.  I think there are a few more of us here that have babies born in 2010 that are going to start trying at the same time.  I am such a dork that I get excited thinking about a bunch of us being pg at the same time again.  lol

Hey there! 
Your baby is really, really a beautiful girl, first of all! 
And, I really don't have much experience to add, but I am an only child and I just found out I am pregnant again after three months of trying. My babies will be 23 months apart or so. I have the same questions you do, but I am 34 and DH is 42, so we want to make sure we aren't using walkers at soccer practice! I too know there wil be years of insanity, but giving Lydia the gift of a sibling who will be there to love and support her long after I am gone is worth it. :-) Good luck!